When Bad Cake Happens to Good People or Why I Need a Kenwood

Lady Moss would just like to thank all of the overachieving mothers out there.

It is no longer acceptable to whip up a Women’s Weekly cake batter the night before, slap on some buttercream and present it with the lights off, candles hiding the mistakes five minutes before everyone leaves.

Now it sits basking in five tiered glory, pure colour-washed perfection, topped with critters molded by hand while watching Housewives of New York the weeks prior to the big day. Centered, pride of place on the desert table, it is ohhhhed and ahhhed over by mums pretending not to be riddled with jealously and bitterness at the mere sight of it.

And that my friends is why I need a Kenwood. Because of the perfect mummy brigade.

Don’t get me wrong and think I’m a hater, I’ve made some pretty cute cakes in my time using my mini mixer gifted to me by my own mama when I moved out of home. It can make a mean crop of cupcakes, and a fluffy, creamy cookie dough as long as you only need enough for one Lady’s sugar hit. Birthday cakes are a laborious process of mixing batch after batch of mixture before washing it out and starting all over again on the frosting. And Meringues? See you later. It just doesn’t have the bowl space to get any lift off.

Which brings me to yesterday’s cake disaster. And the resulting cocktail hour. Prior to cocktail hour.

We were matching a layered orange cake with a first attempt at the Lemon Meringue Butter Cream recipe from Bronnie Bakes which basically consists of fluffy egg whites and sugar whipped with stove-top sugar caramel. Seeing as I clearly have no life I decided to give it a whirl on a quiet Sunday afternoon in preparation for The Kings birthday in September. No party, just family and cake. Amazing cake.

This was not my day to triumph. Not only did I under cook my double batter cake which I never do, I just couldn’t get my egg whites to stiffen. Happens to us all at some point so I’ve heard. My cake collapsed in the middle and couldn’t be held up by copious amounts of fluffy icing as it didn’t fluff. Period.

My saving grace? It tasted wonderful. The caramel worked without a sugar thermometer (thanks Bronnie!) And it did cook the egg whites correctly, which when ladled over the pieced back together cake and served with tea in bone china cups was delightful.

Which brings me back to my Kenwood. This decision has been an ongoing discussion in Rainbow Lane for some time now. I of course desperately want a retro Kitchen Aid to show off on my bench all shiny and smug in background photos, although the stress of colour choice does keep one awake at night.  While the mere thought of additional attachments and a power wattage mirroring a Porsche gets Mossy a little hot under the collar. He’s pushing for the Chef.

After much persuasion, Lady Moss cannot help but climb aboard and fantasise about giant cakes rising in the oven while we flick a switch to make instant (ha!) homemade, pillowy soft pasta, before presenting it all wearing a frilly apron we whipped up at the sewing machine while it was all resting.

And that is why I need a Kenwood. Anybody?

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6 Comments

  1. Gee sus woman. You can write. Well. Lovely to meet you last night. Hope to see you at future ABCD meet-ups.

    Reply
  2. Classic Lady Moss!!!!! I caved and got the Kitchenaid and then broke my heart when it tipped forward (trying to clean under it! they are heavy suckers!) and bent up the speed lever. Too much pain and anguish. Go the Kenwood 😉

    Reply
    • Lady Moss

       /  August 21, 2012

      It’s a sign! That’s two people today with kitchenaid issues haha!! X

      Reply
  3. Funny stuff Mossy…the cake looks good!

    Reply
    • Lady Moss

       /  August 31, 2012

      Was delish! I’ve decided on an orange and white choc mud cake with white choc and cream cheese frosting, white choc ganache and fondant. Gonna try for two cakes each in four layers. Just a nice quick one, might just get up early and make it the morning of 🙂 x

      Reply

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