Blink and You Will Miss Them Mushrooms

I loathe mushrooms. Betrayed by the world’s most nourishing, easy to cook, gloriously natural food, that sucks up butter like a sponge .

When I was very young I was the dreaded fussy eater. Cheese, onions, onions?, tomatos, pumpkin and mushrooms were among the many things I couldn’t bear to eat. And though I have gotten older and changed my mind about all of those things and more, the fungus I just cannot do. And the reason I am obsessed with the Littles trying everything.

The issue here and of course dear reader there is one, inane as it may be is that I just love the thought of them. I crave their scent fried up with onion and thyme, sloshed with butter and served steaming on toast. I adore the ease with which they slice up after nothing but a gentle peel. That wonderfully earthy flavor that permeates through the simplest risotto is there nothing better? I want to eat them!

Its that ghastly texture I cannot stand that gets in the way of our love. That mattressy, stick to the top of your tongue, fungusy ew fungus! Sensation. Not. Pour. Moi.

There are only two ways Lady Moss will consume the evil creatures, the first is thinly sliced on a pizza when topped with twenty or so other toppings and layered with enough to cheese to keep a family of mice for a year. The other is then chopped and used as a star ingredient in my Blink and You Will Miss Them Mushrooms Baked with Scallops. Imagine that title gracing the pages of a cookbook! The dish is simply not the same without the mushys, they are the perfect balance to the silky seafood and salty prosciutto.

You will need

Scallops on the shell, with roe is better it adds that extra depth of flavor. I usually work to four per person, the perfect amount if we have been nibbling at cheese and nuts prior to serving. You can sneak a few extra scallops onto each shell should you like it. More is more non?

One large field mushroom brushed, peeled and diced

Three shallots peeled and finely diced

Garlic finely sliced

Three slices prosciutto finely cubed

Thickened cream

Generous handful flat leaf parsely

The same of breadcrumbs

Butter. Loads.

These quantities are for eight shells, or enough for two people as a main, four as an entrée to my chicken with chorizo. Preview of coming attractions.

Melt 30g butter in a frypan, bathe the shallots, garlic, prosciutto and mushrooms in its golden goodness and fry gently, adding salt and pepper to taste. Firmly send away the neighbours who begin to waft past.

Rain in the breadcrumbs and parsley and cook for another minute before sloshing in enough cream to give the mix a soupy porridge texture. Though much yummier I promise!

Lay out your lazy scallops, they have little work other than to be blanketed in your mushroom mix before being placed under a medium grill for about 7 minutes or until everything is nicely bubbling. Just be sure to completely cover your scallops which will protect them from the heat and cook them to juicy perfection.

I serve with a crunchy side salad and a French vinaigrette. At the moment nothing but beer will do and so I pair with a light pale ale such as Little Creatures. Bon appetit!

Tip: Pop your shells into the dishwasher when licked clean to be used again and again. Scallop meat is far cheaper when purchased without their ribbed beds.

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